Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
