in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
