what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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