Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
