physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
