ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
