How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
