Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
