bring money and cleavage
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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