Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
