My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
