i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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