that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
