Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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