apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
