shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
