Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
