you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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