So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
