Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
