The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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