He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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