U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
