I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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