foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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