where am i from again
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
