Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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