Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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