im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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