wanna go halves on a baby?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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