I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I will be naked everywhere
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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