brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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