Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
