i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
be right there i have to get my cape
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
