honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Will exercising make me less horny?
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