i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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