I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
