I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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