Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
