I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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