It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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