i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
