whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
