I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
