i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
