he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
