I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
