we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
