question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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