so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
