I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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