I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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