She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
