hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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