I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
