like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if only i could text you this smell
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
