Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
